Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Get Your Population Under Control

Why do people want to have kids? I've never figured that out. Especially since the world is so overpopulated. Hell, I'm looking forward to any and all apocolypses since then I'd never have to worry about a parking spot. I'd also have a very good chance of finally getting a job. Anyway, it's not as if human beings are an endangered species.

So why do we have infertitlty clinics? That's always boggled my mind. We have more than enough kids, but yet we spend money and what's left of our resources on bringing more mouths to feed and butts to wipe? I don't get it. I think these infertitlity clinics should offer the option of giving women a chance to give birth to a panda. The world needs more pandas. And here are the benefits of having a panda instead of a crumb crusher:
  • The average birth weight of a panda is 3 1/2 OUNCES.

  • The average birth weight of a panda is 3 1/2 OUNCES. I know I've repeated myself, but the information is just so significant, it's worth repeating.
  • Pandas can't grow up to run away from home to another country and shack up with an alchoholic (unlike some blog writers....)

  • They never outgrow their cute phase

  • They're grown up in five or six years

  • They don't sue their own parents

  • They don't do this

  • Or this

  • And, most importantly, they don't do this

People might be important--no one can prove that they are or are not--but we sure as shooting are not the end all and be all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

yes. cognitively thread