Monday, June 18, 2007

OK, I Am Now Officially a Geek

It's been nearly a month now that I've been writing material for Cyber Defender, the free and low cost total online security softwear that's won a ton of awards...there, I'm writing for them again! But I'm thrilled with the job. Which, if my bosses ever risk a peek at this blog, I'm sure they'll be relieved to hear. My family is a little boggled that I'm having such a good time writing about online security. Doorknobs confused me when I was a kid. Now I'm the computer expert.

But it is suprisingly fun. Ever like those espionage thrillers or spy movies? The spy vrs spy aspect is just the same as with Internet security. One group sneaks over here in a neat-o way to get your personal information for nefarious purposes like sending you pop up ads and the other James Bond types sneak around with even more neat-o gizmos and not only saves the Internet, but gets the girl in the end (pun intended).

Alright, perhaps I exaggerate a bit, but you do have to keep your energy levels up writing about phishing over and over again. I did learn why phishing is spelled with a "ph" instead of an "f". Turns out, it is a spelling of respect for the pioneering hackers and crackers who walked ten miles in blizzards and hailstorms to a phone booth in order to hack into a computer with a phone line. Geeks have much different ways of giving memorial monuments to our pioneers. We would set up a statue or wall of some sort, but we're too busy watching piano playing cats on You Tube.

Other news:

* Mom is doing well after her multi-hour spinal surgery and will be coming home this evening. HOORAY! Last night I actually turned the telly on just to hear another human voice in the house. I've never done that before. Hell, I've lived alone in an English wood for three years, and last night I had to put on Nature before I could make dinner. I've turned into my Grandmother!
* Peter Gabriel is still on tour and there is, sadly, no chance of it coming over to Philly. What a time for me to move back to America, eh?
* Duct tape does not work in the vacuum of space. Am I alone, or did you get a powerful chill down the spine when you read that? I thought duct tape was how God made the Universe You know, "E=MC duct tape two for a one sale at Kmart squared".
* I have been throughly chastised by my brother about not liking the new Doctor Who. Although I have been humbled by Big Bro's explanation that I should be free to new concepts and not but the good Doctor in a pigeopn hole, I CANNOT get over the fact that the actor now portraying Doctor Who is THREE YEARS younger that I am. SO, I will watch the new Doctor Who episodes when I am old enough that EVERYBODY is younger than I am.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Gimme That Old Time Doctor

My Mom is getting her back operated on this Thursday, June 14, the day of a new moon, happily enough (for all of us who believe in omens in the sky). She has decided to go with the same surgeon we first visited back in November. You remember the guy -- has a humungous Heironymous Bosch triptych print in his consultation office along with a silver skull decorated with Celtic crosses. Unsuprisingly, Mom was pretty adamant that, should she need surguery (she still wouldn't face the inevitable), she didn't want Dr. Waterman. I thought it was because of his choice of decor. No, Mom didn't like him because he's young. (Younger than I am).

Now, I laughed and laughed at this. The docotr has diplomas up the wazoo; he's articulate and eccentric and Mom holds his age (or lack thereof) against him. What a silly predudice! Ah, silly old-fashioned Catholic Mom.

Then, last Saturday, I decided to finally watch a tape of the most recent Dr Who episodes, made when I was still living in England in the woods. I remember hearing about the episodes being made and I felt bad at the time. I wondered what I was missing. I was a HUGE Dr. Who fan until I discovered Peter Gabriel. In fact, I dream that someday Peter Gabriel would become the next Doctor Who, but that would take him even further from ever getting an album done.

So, my brother, bless him, taped all of the new Doctor Who episodes made in 2005 or so from Canadian TV. It must've taken him hours. Then he mailed me the tape...over a year ago. And I just found time to watch the tape last Saturday. Hey, I've been busy not getting published and not listening to Peter Gabriel's new album. So sue me.

The new Docotr Who is portrayed by actor Daivd Tennant. My brother, a connissour of all things sci-fi, mind, thinks David Tennant is the second best Dr Who actor ever. (The first, of course, being Tom Baker). I had my doubts, but decided to give this david Tennant a chance.

I lasted less than one hour of that tape. I couldn't stand it. At least I wasn't missing anything. I just could not tolerate the actor.

Mom asked me why.

"He's so YOUNG!" I complained, "My God, he's younger than I AM!"

All right. So I am my momther's daughter in more ways than one. But there is a difference in choosing a spinal colum surgeon with references than a fictional time travelling alien-human hybrid doctor. I'm sure I can convince some insurange agent of this eventually.

All good Doctor Whos should have these three characteristics, or they are NOT real bone fide Union Jack stamped Docotr Whos:

1) He should have wrinkles. He's meant to be pushing 1000 years old, for Pete's sake!

2) He should dress very disctinctly, like with a twenty foot long scarf or frills. This is mandatory.

3) He should be easily pissed off. Otherwise, he would have no motivation to work against the bad guys. All of these characteristics are wrapped up in my favorite Doctor Who (well, until Peter Gabriel gets the role) the late great Jon Pertwee(pictured), of Worzel Gummidge fame.

Also, I know too many guys in Bath and Bristol who look too much like David Tennant, including this guy. Tell me I'm not completely predudiced, but after meeting so many buskers, I automatically run a mile in the other direction, even if they only LOOK like they might be a busker.