Thursday, June 26, 2008
I Want To Donate My Breasts To Charity
Now that Peter Gabriel is having his fourth child with his second wife, it's become painfully obvious to me that my breasts no longer serve any purpose of luring Peter over to The Dark Side.
I'm really getting sick of my breasts. The serve no useful purpose now that I've been celibate for nearly 4 years. Now all they do is get zits and point to opposite ends of the compass. They used to be men-magnets -- now all they'll probably ever attract is cancer.
There must be some way I can get rid of my breasts and help make the world a better place at the same time. My breasts keep changing in size. Surely, some breat deprived person needs a breat donation of some kind. There must be some poor soul in the Make A Wish foundation who's final wish is "Get my tits back."
I wonder how much the IRS would reimburse me for donating my breats to charity? Perhaps Peter could use them to auction off for one of his charities.
There I go again.