Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Hounds of Love

Worst murder rate in Philly ever...Mid east exploding...I'm unemployed...and what am I worrying night and day about?

BARNEY! Yes, the dog from Somerset (around where I used to live) who, in less than fifteen minutes, destroyed a collection of rare teddy bears he was supposed to be guarding. WHAT the hell is going to happen to Barney? Poor beast was already lumped with the name of a purple dinosaur and now has been fired due to mismanagement of human lack of common sense. His future has been described as "uncertain" by the BBC.

But what do we puny humans know? Perhaps those teddy bears were invaded by Daleks. I used to live in Glastonbury, and just 14 months before the teddy bear decapitation incident, a Dalek was found on Glastonbury Tor. Both Dalek and teddy bears were staying at...the same place, Wookey Hole! COINCIDENCE?!?!?

Or the teddies could've been demons from an alternate dimension. Fire Barney? Hell, no! I say we make him the Top Dog of the world! Savior of Saviors! You like possessed teddy bears yelling "EXTERMINATE!" and blasting disintegration rays out of their button noses? Fine, but why take the risk? Save Barney Now!

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