Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Heaven Help Us, Jeeves


Okay, Gentle Reader, time to get down to work, so buckle up and hang on to the bar. It's time to face an issue that's tearing an entire country apart. The issue deals with the preservation of the silent minority.

The issue is

foxhunting

Thought I was going to write the "a" word, eh? Nope. In England, where I lived from 2000-5, the issue of abortion has been done and dusted. No one wastes their breath on it. They save it instead to riot over foxhunting.

Yes, Tally-ho and all that. If you are in UK politics, your position on foxhunting is the first (and often ONLY) thing voters check. The Anti side says foxhunting is cruel and inhumane torture. The Pro side says "Listening to you lot is cruel and inhumane torture."

Actually, the foxhunting debate has nothing to do with foxes. Foxes are rarely killed in hunts, yet thousands are killed in traffic. No one protests to car drivers, though, 'cause no one wants to give up their cars. So why the violent, heated, police-in-full-riot-gear protests?

Because you need money to foxhunt. And live in the country. Lots more English are born. live ands die in town, primarily due to lack of money. So, yeah, it's about the only time the poor can tell the rich to shove it as they drive speeding cars, throw beer cans out the window and eat fried chicken.

I, of course, when on UK soil, would not open my mouth either way. As soon as "foxhunting" would be mentioned, I'd be outa the room by the second syllable. My advice for all non-English in England--just shut up and smile. If you rankle ANYONE it'll take more than a pack of hounds to find your mortal remains.

Sometimes I wish God would come down in a flame of glory during one of these pro and anti clashes and smack everyone on the head with a frying pan.

"PEOPLE! Can't you see you don't give a rip about foxes, fetuses or flag burning? You just want to get off telling someone else what to do! BLOODY 'ELL! That's MY job! Go get your own!"


But until that day, I'll just keep my mouth shut and smile. ;-)

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