Saturday, April 01, 2006


The odds of me becoming a Saint are less than zero. This is because I can't do the first step Saints all can effortlessly do--forgive others.

Now, I don't exactly retch with loathing whenever I have contact with my fellow wo/man,but I just cannot envision telling the guy who burnt my home down "Have a nice day." Quite frankly, I want him and the guy who hired him to be flayed alive. I know Jesus said "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do" but wasn't He in the eensy-beensiest thinking, "Ooo--just wait 'til I resurrect..." (Come to think of it, maybe He did. It would explain a lot.)

But I'm not Jesus. I know if I ever hear that the arsonist and/or his boss get dragged by a train I'll dance the home I'm currently in down. In fact, I admidt that I rehearse this dance. I know I'm supposed to forgive and forget, but you might as well tell a rock not to be a rock. Not gonna happen.

Perhaps that's why God made people--to figure out how to forgive. You never know, maybe Allah never returned Jehovah's lawnmower. They're still not talking to Each other over it. Archangel Gabriel's been trying to get the Pair to BBQ's, bar mitzvahs and whatnot, but Neither of Them will have it.

  • Gabe: But it's just a lawnmower

  • J : But it's MY lawnmower!

  • Gabe: Someday, you'll look back on this and laugh.

  • J : Lawnmower first! Laughing...maybe


M.R.Sherwood said...

I must admit - you have the weirdest links :-)

rraven said...

I aim to please. Now if only I could find that missing link...

Anonymous said...

Hi ##name##, I'm trying to learn about lawncarelawncare as spring is approaching. this year I plan on having the best yard in the neighborhood.

rraven said...

Hi ##name##, thanks for taking the time to add a comment to my blog.

May I recommend praying? A good God to pray to would be Pan. A good Goddess would be Flora. And please don't use slug bait--it's poisonous to animals (not only slugs). Good luck.