10) Guinea pig shepherd somebody's gotta keep them in line
9) Avenging Fury
-Unfortunately, I'm overqualified
8) Bookend-alas, I'm not a team player
7) Peter Gabriel's hair dryer-is a comment here really necessary?
6) Official Dog Petter-Don't have time to cuddle Cuddles? Pay me!
5) Executive Washroom Pointer To-I'm DAMN good at finding out where to pee.
4)Messiah-Only two problems: I'm not Jewish (that I know of) and my gospel is "Figure it out your own friggin' self!"
3)Shadowfax, Gandolf's horse-now how cool would that be? Not many horses in Middle Earth have to pay rent.
2)Rainbow designer-why just 7 colors? Why not a paisly rainbow?
1)God-hell, I couldn't do any worse than the current bugger.