New Book Idea: Dream Peter Project

A few posts ago I wrote about how I would tackle writing a biography of Peter Gabriel. I've had to officially scrap the idea because a biography of PG came out in France in 2008 -- which means that it's too soon for anyone to write a new bio of him. Anyway, since the traditional publishing industry is dead, I'd have to self publish the damn thing and that would cost me at least $10,000. So, screw that.

Then my hard drive crashed and I spent 8 days offline. Now, birds gotta fly and fish gotta swim and writers gotta write. So I went at it with a pen and paper, like in the old days when I actually had the stupidity to think that anything I could write would ever be read by Peter Gabriel.

I've been dreaming about Peter since I was 16 (and now I'm 40.) I consider Dream Peter and PG to be two separate beings. I've learned a lot about dreams, lucid dreams and working with dreams in all of these years. I believe that when we die, we slip into a dream state and never wake back up. So, in the end, all we are are our dreams.

I've been spending time writing a book about Dream Peter, who visits me in all kinds of guises, including this image I found online from the website of clothing store Jhanes Barnes. Will this book ever be published? Probably not. Will I make any money off of it? Not a snowball's chance. And yet I'm writing it anyway.

There are those two voices that talk to writers when they write. One says, "This book is really going to help someone. Keep at it." The other says, "This book is only a pathetic plea to get attention. Why bother? It's not like Peter is ever going to read it!"

Guess which voice is talking to me now?

Hard Drive Crash & New York Psychic

My apologies to any clients that have been trying to get a hold of me since 5/6. My hard drive crashed and could not be resurrected. I'm now starting over from scratch, reinstalling all of my software. I also lost all of my Peter Gabriel images (and I had about 400), so no image to accompany this post.

It's been a strange week offline. I was so driven to write that I resorted to pen and paper, believe it or not. I went through two pens. If I didn't get the computer back up soon, I was going to have to start scraping marks on wet clay tablets.

What About the Psychic?

Oh, yeah. While I was in New York City to see Peter Gabriel, I had to walk from SoHo to Manhattan. On the way, I came across many street vendors, including Lyn the Psychic. I thought, "Oh, what the hell," and had my first reading in donkey's years.

She first began by praying to the Higher Powers for her to clearly communicate what needed to be said for my greatest good. She then said, "You're not from around here, are you?"

I guess it was stamped on my forehead, because I got a lot of that when I was in New York. She also asked me why I was in New York city. After I mentioned that I was seeing Peter Gabriel, she said, "You've no shot with Peter Ga--"

"I KNOW THAT ALREADY!"

She also told me, "Do something wit yer hair!" Now, I kind of doubt that the Higher Powers were talking through street vendor Lyn there. I have a feeling that was Lyn talking.

Off the Market

She seemed fascinated by my left palm and said I wouldn't have any problems with money (HA! I quake to see how much this hard drive crash is going to cost me.) She also said that I may move, due to my job, but that I would not be forced out of my home.

Then she said that I tended to isolate myself and needed to see more people and perhaps date.

Whoa. The week before, my Mom's cleaning lady tried to fix me up with a date and I nearly blew a gasket. Mom then sat me down and asked me if I was ever going to date again. "Are you kidding me?" I said, "The last guy put me in the hospital, stole every penny I had and burned my home down. The only reason I went with him was because he looked like Peter Gabriel. And the guy before him was a psycho. I'd have been better off never dating ANYBODY and kept a torch for Peter all of these years."

"You mean you're never going to date again?"

"The only man I'm interested in is Peter -- and he's not interested. So, if I can't have him, I'll have no one."

"Well, I think that's sad."

"Sad? You should be bouncing off of the roof! This way I'll never get beat up again and I'll always be around to take care of you."

No pleasing Moms, sometimes. She hated whatever guy I was with and now she hates that I don't date. Huh???

Anyway, I asked the psychic, "Have you been talking to my Mom?"

Being Alone

Lyn wound up by saying that I should join a YMCA and meet more people, because "it's not good to be alone". I hated to burst her bubble, but loneliness has nothing to do with how many people are in the same room with you. I was lonely when I had boyfriends. I could be in a room of 1000 pairs of eyes looking at me and I'd still be lonely.

Loneliness is something you have to work on inside of yourself and no one can help you do that. You become comfortable with your own company and work on from there.

Besides, I'm not exactly a catch. I'm tall, about 30 pounds overweight, have breasts that have given up all hope and am 40. Believe me, you don't need to be a psychic to see that I have no chance with a man like Peter Gabriel.

Still Recovering from New York Weekend to See Peter Gabriel at Radio City Music Hall

In the next few days, I'll get a proper review of both the soundcheck and show by Peter Gabriel and the New Blood Orchestra at Radio City Music Hall on Sunday, May 2, 2010.

Some highlights:

* The night before, a car bomb was discovered in Times Square, about half a block from Radio City Music Hall. No one was hurt and the bomb was diffused, but it was a sobering shock to the open the weekend with. I had to walk to the hotel on West 32nd street from a Mexican restaurant in Soho (about 5 - 7 miles.) Although Times Square was blocked off by the time I reached it, I can't help but wonder if I'd be typing this now if the bomb had gone off.
* I had a migraine beginning at 7am 5/2 and still had it before the soundcheck. It would return after the adrenalin died down the next day. Adrenalin is a great painkiller, but only for so long.
* It was FREAKIN' HOT! This actually turned into an advantage, getting us into the soundcheck early.
* Lots of differences from the Berlin show of March 24 for both soundcheck and concert. Same T-shirt, though.
* This time, I got to meet PG. Let's say PG treated me to a viewpoint I hadn't seen before any of the other times we met. No -- you all have filthy minds -- his marriage was not put at risk in any way.
* This time, he gave me an autograph as well as an eyeful and a very sweet memory
* In between sets, I got to shake hands with pianist Tom Cawley and have a very brief chat.
* I got to meet many other PG fans, which was just about as nice as meeting PG.
* This photo of PG is the outfit he wore when I met him.

Off to gather my head together!

Experimental Post -- Hold On

Yes, that's a photo of me. It was taken about 2002 on the homeless iste Ilived on for about three years. Now, why is it up here?

Well, I tried changing my avatar at the PG Forums. Why do this? There's a bunch of PG fans meeting the night before and just before Peter Gabriel's concert at Radio City Music Hall 5/2. I thought the easiest way to let the other fans know who to look out for was to change my avatar on the forum.

No such luck. Petergabriel.com did not accept accept my photo. Not only that, but my scanner/printer stopped working. Wow -- I'm uglier than I thought. After giving the scanner/printer a remedy by making it print out a PG image (I kid you not), it began working again.

But now I have to keep this post up in order to keep up the link to my photo for those rare PG fans that want to meet me. Doesn't the Internet makes our lives so much easier?

Latest Lucid PG Dream

Info you need to know before reading about the dream:

1) Mitch was the guy I ran away to England for, he abused me, and I had to return to America in 2005.
2) Dream Peter is similar too, but different from the real Peter Gabriel, who've I've been a fan of since I was 16.
3) Sandy is Dream Peter's boss.
4) Lucid dreaming is when you are aware that you are dreaming. Dream Peter taught me how to do it when I was a teeneager.
5) About 4 years ago, I dreamt of Mitch harassing me, telling me that he was Peter in disguise, and Dream Peter came out of nowhere, gave Mitch a bollicking, then turned to me and said, "I would NEVER do that to you. Now wake up."

So, anyway:

I'm in a hotel room in Bath, UK on a writing assignment. Someone stirs on the bed next to me an I see that it's Mitch, fully clad. I frantically try to remember what just happened and if it's what I suspect, I have to kick him rioght out the door. Mitch stands, lifts a gym bag to his shoulders and is about to leave. I know I only have this chance to tell him how he ruined my life.

But all I can think of to say is, "You really pissed me off."

"I know," he replied. "But isn't it nice to know that, after everything that happened, some good came out of it?" And then he walked out.

Puzzled, I walk out of the hotel and find that the entire city of Bath has disappeared, replaced by gray woods next to the River Avon. Mitch walks in front of me, then turns around and says, "Isn't it funny how we keep bumping into each other?"

Finally, I get it. I'm dreaming! "My name is Rena Sherwood and I'm having a lucid dream, " I say, as I have been taught to (it helps me stay in a lucid state throughout the rest of the dream.)"But I do not want to dream about YOU."

"I know. I'm sorry."

That's not like Mitch. Since this is a dream, anything is possible. "Who are you, really?"

He walks up and whispers in my ear, "I'm Peter," and it's Dream Peter's voice.

"I thought you'd said you'd never appear to me as Mitch!" I whisper back.

"Yeah, I know, but then my boss Sandy saw my little performance and thought it would be a brilliant idea for me to appear to you as Mitch. I refused for as long as I could. But, now, well, here I am," he whispers.

"Why are we whiserping?"

"Although this is a dream, you never know who may be listening in. Now let's get back to the hotel."

Anway, when I woke up, I wondered what Dream Peter meant when he said that some good had come out of my being abused my Mitch, becoming homeless and that whole lot. I wonder if I'll ever find out. It's been about a week or so and I haven't seen Dream Peter since to ask him.

Why I Can't Be in the Same Room as the Dalai Lama

I noticed something interesting while preparing for my trip to New York City for another Peter Gabriel soundcheck and concert. About 20 days after PG plays Radio City Music Hall, His Holiness the Dalai Lama will be appearing for two nights to give two lectures. I briefly flirted with the idea of going to attend one of the HH's lectures, but decided not to.

Part of the reason was due to money. But mostly, it's because I'm too ashamed of myself to be in the same room that he is.

From my research into his life, the Dalai Lama is very tolerant, compassionate and forgiving. He wants to work with the government of the very country that forcefully took over his country rather than just blow China to hell. Me -- I'd skip diplomatic negotiations and try to blow China to hell.

Now, both Tibet and myself have no weapons capable of blowing anything larger than a dust mite to hell, but I don't let that small fact hold back my anger.

I really admire people who genuinely like other people. I have a select few people I adore, a few I would gladly take a bullet for and then there's the other 99.9% of the human population. After hearing them talk for ten minutes, I just want to smack them upside the head with a metal frying pan in order to get them to shut up.

I also find that there are people I can't forgive:

* My abuser
* PG's abusers when he attended Charterhouse as a boy
* That drunk woman that kicked her dog in my street, so I called the police on her and now she's threatened to kill my dog
* Michael Vick
* President Andrew Jackson who destroyed what was left of Native American tribes. Yes, I know he died in 1845, but I still hold a grudge

Now, the Dalai Lama teaches compassion mediation where you first think about being compassionate to your mother (or mother-figure), then your best friend and then your worst enemy. Ideally, you are to feel the same feelings for all three.

Un-uh. Not me. No way.

So, I figure my seat at Radio City Music Hall would be best filled by someone who could actually become compassionate to even her worst enemies. She'd get more out of the Dalai Lama's talks than I would. I'd just be sitting there burning with embarassment.

How a Book Idea Can Be Great and Suck Simultaneously

By now, you've probably gotten the impression that I'm a Peter Gabriel fan. You wouldn't even need to read any blog posts to figure that out -- all of the PG images would give that fact away. I'm also a freelance writer. Lots of things in my life have gone down the crapper, but I'm an excellent writer. I pay my bills -- that's why I can say that I'm an excellent writer. (Lousy speller, but excellent writer.)

That Idea's Great!

Inevitably, the idea dawned on me after I wrote about attending PG's soundcheck in Berlin: Rena, only PG's mother knows more about PG than you do. I probably know things that PG himself would have no clue about. You're the perfect person to write a unique biography of him! I wouldn't even have to interview him (although that would be nice.) PG has granted so many interviews over the years that all a writer needs to do would cull the best from those interviews. And (although most of my PG collection was trashed by my exes) I do have access to other fans that have copies of these interviews.

I'd also like to do a section on fan's impressions of meeting PG. Fans like myself get asked about song meanings a lot, so there also should be a section of the biography devoted to that. Although I have written some silly fan-girl stuff on this blog and on at least two PG forums, I would actually take the project seriously and not just blather on about how great PG is. He certainly can be a bastard -- selfish, forgetful and (sometimes) a liar. But, hey, aren't we all? In fact, I'd like to title it "Legendary Bastard: Reflections of Peter Gabriel Through Many Eyes."

I can make this much different from Spencer Bright's nauseating dissection of PG, from the fascinating "Peter Gabriel: In His Own Words" (Mick St. Michael) and even from the best PG bio done to date by the multi-talented Armando Gallo, titled simply "Peter Gabriel."

Hell, I could even self-publish the bio so PG and his staff would not have to bother with all of the hassle of dealing with a snobby publisher.

That Idea Sucks!

Unfortunately, Armando Gallo has been trying to do a sequel to his PG bio for the last 30 years. Gallo is arguably more qualified to write a PG bio than I am, since he not only is an excellent photographer, but also has been a fan of Genesis since I was in diapers. (Pardon the mental image.)

How dare I think that I could get an "okie-dokie" if Gallo can't?

Quite honestly, if you asked 100 PG fans if they've heard of the name "Armando Gallo", over half will say "yes." But ask the same 100 who Rena Sherwood is and they'll say, "Who the f*** is that?"

Besides, PG's staff probably would see me as someone who just wants to get into PG's pants. So, do I risk sending a book proposal to PG's staff and risk being laughed at or (worse) completely ignored or do I just forget the whole thing?

Off to bang my head against the wall until numbness sets in.

Do Yourself a Favor -- Never Google Old Lovers

I guess because it's Easter it gave me the idea to look into the dead parts of my nefarious past. Quite frankly, I live in fear that my UK ex, who used to beat the crap out of me, will show up at my door. However, that would take effort. After moving from the UK on 13 September 2005 there has been no sign of my abuser. (WHEW!)

Since I returned to America I've had nightmares about meeting the American boyfriend I walked out on in order to shack up with the monstrous Peter Gabriel substitute. (Well, I used all my lovers as PG substitutes. Fat lot of good that did.) The American boyfriend probably wishes I was dead and he has every right to. Tell you the truth, there are many times I wish I was dead. Anyway, I thought I'd face this fear.

Facing your fears is highly overrated.

Anyway, I Googled the American boyfriend's name, hoping I'd find it listed under "Obituaries." Either that or find a photo of how badly he'd aged so I could sigh in relief, "Wow. Dodged that bullet."

No such luck. He's on Facebook. Looking at his picture (and that of his overweight gal pal) was reminiscent of discovering roadkill. Last I heard, he'd moved to his home town, but now has moved back to the town where the two of lived oh so many years ago. At least I know which town to stay far, far away from.

So, let this be a lesson to you. If you ever think of Googling old flames -- don't. You'll wind up with nausea to knock over an elephant.

In order to calm me down, there's a nice photo of PG to pair with this post. This is also for the people who come to this blog just for PG news and not Rena Sherwood news. (Hey -- I've no problem with that.)

Off to cancel my Facebook account.

Five Random Peter Gabriel Pictures from My Collection

And the PG worship continues.

Currently, I'm hard at work on various projects, but am taking a break to post a couple of gems from my PG photo collection because a couple of folks over at the PG Forums wanted to see them. Blogger was the most convenient place for me to do so.

Anyway, the dork in the flowery jacket talking to PG is me. Gee, no wonder he didn't fall for me, huh?

First Impressions: Peter Gabriel at O2 Berlin 3/24/10

I'm getting a review of the show (and soundcheck) for a client, but some fans may like to see some of my notes. These are interpeted from frantically scribbled notes on the back of my WOMADshop reciept when my hands stopped shaking.

* First PG concert I've ever been to where he needed to bring a bottle of cough syrup onstage. But if I hadnlt seen the bottle, I would never have known his throat was sore.
* PG wore a loose back ensemble embroidered with barely detectable paisley designs.
* PG had problems with his earpiece, which suddenly popped out of his left ear at least one time. Twice he yanked the earpiece out himself.
* Did lewd hand gesture to me during "Darkness" (probably not to me specifically, but there were only about four women in the front row.) Still. I'm overjoyed!
* Minor feedback problems, but none were distracting.
* The light show and animation was lost on me, since I sat in the front row. But the audience reaction indicated it was a big hit.

The person sitting behind me filmed "Book of Love." That's my big fat head in the way (blush.) If you ever happen to be at a PG concert and see me, just ask me to scrunch down so I don't block the shot.

Ten Reasons Why Peter Gabriel's New Blood Tour Is Better Than Sex

1) Doesn't leave the toilet seat up.
2) Much, much bigger than expected.
3) No discovering that the PG New Blood Tour has gone through your wallet while you were sleeping.
4) No awkward meetings with any PG New Blood Tour family members.
5) No prophylactics necessary.
6) Dancing optional.
7) No need to feel bad if you say the wrong words at the wrong time, 'cause PG does it all of the time.
8) Your timing is never off because of Ben Foster's conducting.
9) The PG New Blood Tour never wants to have a heavy discussion during the best parts of "Star Trek."
10) Lasts longer than ten minutes.

PG New Blood Tour Live from Berlin

It was like really good sex, only less messy. I#m so happy I could fly.

PG seemed intensley worried all throughout the set list, but did laugh on several occassions. Ben Foster, the conductor, teased PG mercilessly at times in the good English tradition. I#ve never seen a PG concert where PG had to drink a bottle of cough syrup before.

I found out that there was a bad technical glitch at Paris 22 march. All the mikes and sound wnet out. PG calmed the crowd by shouting the lyrics to Father, Son at the top of his lungs to placate the restless crowd.

So, he went on with the show even though he had a sore throat. But if he can sing like that with a sore throat, he is one lucky bastard.

PG also had problms with his earpiece. It popped out of his ear a couple of times. Twice during the show he yanked it out.

I´d type more, but I clapped so hard that I have big blue bruises and a blister on my right hand. Never let it be said that a PG concert isn't dangerous!

Coming to you live from Berlin Intercafe 2004 on Gleimstraße. Vielen dank!

Peter Gabriel's New Blood Tour Kicks Off Successfully

Even fans prepared to be stunned were happily suprised to be stunned, according to reports on the PG Forums at Petergabriel.com. The only disappointment was that Peter wore clothes. At the left is a picture from the show put up by Peter's Official Twitter Page.

This is my last post before getting on the plane to Berlin to see PG at the O2. I've decided to not take a camera for two reasons:

1) It makes me look like a tourist and would attract theives
2) I don't own a camera (because if I bought things like cameras, I couldn't afford to drop everything and fly to Berlin to see Peter.)

I've been working like mad in order to help pay for all of this, and now have just over 26 hours to pack. AHHHHetc.

My Peter Gabriel Picture Collection

I know I'll never have a shot with PG (becuase there's no God, remember?) but I'm certainly having a fine old time with my PG picture collection. I do have two small photo albums with newspaper clippings, postcards and actual photos on actual film of PG, but they now pale in signifigance to my digital collection.

I really hope I do nothing that warrants police breaking open my hard drive, or I'll have a heck of a time explaining why there are um...let's see...oh...350 images of Peter Gabriel on my computer. I added another 25 or so tonight because Eva (hi, Eva!) put a huge chunk of her collection up on Genesis Community on Ning. That's where the ones at the left come from. Just my luck, I'll not allowed be into Germany because somehow the Border Patrol found out I have a thing for looking at Peter Gabriel.

I just like looking at PG pictures every now and then over the last 23 and a half years. And occassionally fiddling with them on Paint. That's all. Swear to God.

Preparing for Peter Gabriel Concert in Berlin

The tickets arrived. The instructions for getting into the soundcheck arrived. My Mom's picked out a concert outfit for me. I've booked the hotel. My sneakers gave out, so I had to buy new shoes. We're selecting a dog-walker for Pony. I'm having frequent nightmares about not being allowed into Germany. I'm now on two Xanax pills a day.

I thought I was crazy traveling from Philadelphia to Berlin to see Peter, but apparently there is a fan from Chicago that's flying to London to see him. That means she has to deal with both O'Hare and Heathrow airports. Maybe she'll be lucky and use Gatwick instead. I love Peter, but I'm I'd only go through both Chicago and London if I was guaranteed to sleep with him (sex need not be involved.)

By the way, next week my brother and his family are coming from Vancouver. I'll be meeting my two nieces for the first time.

I'd like to make the rest of this post insightful and coherent, but who am I kidding? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 60th, Peter Gabriel

Ah, yes, that time of year again when we all sing Peter Gabriel caroles, decorate a Zorb and be nice to monkeys (shock only in the metaphorical sense, please).

OK, I jest, but I received notice from WOMADShop that my tickets to Berlin have been put in the post. Cause enough for celebration!

This is "Growing Up", which will probably not be a part of the New Blood tour but appropriate for the day:

Ticket Gain = Dream Loss

I've been dreaming about Peter Gabriel since I was 16 (and now I'm, uh, older than 16.) Over the years, Dream Peter has turned into a unique and unpredictable character He also gave me some valuable tips on lucid dreaming. One tip is that when I realize I'm dreaming, I'm to say my name aloud and then ask where Peter is. The other characters in the dream can usually point me towards him.

But now he seems to have a streak of jealousy. Now that I'm going to see the real Peter in Berlin and New York, Dream Peter is refusing to appear in my dreams.

Typical. He may not live in the physical realm but still retains all of the male's powers to be annoying.

Anyway, I now have a new gig as the Philadelphia Tea Examiner on Examiner.com. I'm still trying to figure out how I can work Peter Gabriel into that blog without getting fired.

Peter Gabirel Now on Twitter

Although there are about 1500 people claiming to be Peter Gabriel on Twitter, one is from the real guy, or at least, from Real World Studios. Granted, it may not be PG himself that does the typing, but his pubicists are the next best thing. The funny thing is that Peter Gabriel could not use that as his user name on Twitter, becasue it had already been taken. So, now Itspetergabriel.

As a freelance writer, I've been urged several times by my clients and from other freelance writers to get a Twitter account. I've held off (holy cow -- isn't a blog enough in this word anymore?) but now that Peter's gone and gotten one, I have, too at Renasherwood. (All of the good user names, like Peter Gabriel, had already been taken.) Unlike MySpace of Facebook, Twitter doesn't crash my 10 year old computer.

The avatar I've chosen is "Killer Chihuahua" taken by David Shankbone and is up at Wikimedia Commons. Trust me - this dog is much better looking than myself. Off to discover the joy of micro-blogging.

Peter Gabriel North American New Blood Tour 2010

Just my luck. In the last post, I talked abut spluriging for a trip to Berlin in order to see Peter Gabriel perform with semi-full chamber orchestra. A day after buy my non-refundable airplane tickets, Peter announces a tour of North America. Boy, is my family laughing. So far, there are only four dates, but note the big date gaps. PG tours have added shows less than a month before the show date in the past, so I wouldn't put it past him to do it again.

The tour so far:

* April 28 Montreal Bell Centre
* May 2 New York Radio City Music Hall
* May 3 New York Radio City Music Hall
* May 7 Los Angeles Hollywood Bowl

As far as I know, tickets are not officially on sale yet. Hmmm... I've never been to New York City ... Anyway, here's a taste -- Peter's cover of David Bowie's "Heroes". I'd never been able to understand the lyrics before Peter sang it.

Peter Gabriel "New Blood" 24 March Berlin O2

I know I previously mentioned Peter's mini-European "New Blood" tour, but I'm repeating myself here for a reason.

I'm going.

I saw that a second show for the Berlin O2 Arena had been added. Peter's studio, Real World, was offering bundle tickets which included:

! A ticket to the show
! A ticket to the soundcheck (two concerts in one day)
! An "event access laminate" (which I think is a fancy way of saying "backstage pass")
! A T-shirt
! A copy of Peter's new CD, "Scratch My Back"

I thought, "Hmmm, wouldn't it be great if I could go?" Then I smacked myself in the head when I realized:

1) I'm 40 years old and don't need anyone's permission to go to Berlin
2) I'm self-employed
3) I have the money
4) I have an up to date passport
5) I need a new T-shirt

Now, there still could be problems that prevent me from going. Germany could invade Poland. I could drop dead. The tickets could spontaneously combust. But I have to blog about this or my head will explode. There. Now I can get back to work writing about Toshiba laptops, treatments for clinical depression and chronic kidney failure in dogs.

The really fun thing is that after years of taking German classes in High School and college, all my knowledge of this language has boiled down to one sentence:

"Der Bleistift ist gelb."

(The pencil is yellow.)

Oh, that will come in handy.