Saturday, February 17, 2007

Lucid Dreams

Lucid dreams are boss. They make acid look like Ovaltine. What are they? They're the ultimate in dreams, where you realize you are "only" dreaming and can thus play God/dess with the world around you until you wake up. Now, you can either indulge in your hedonistic Napoleon complex as much as you like, OR
you can try to build your character and be a better person by finding out what you're suppossed to be discovering in the dream situation you find yourself in.

Now, I've been lucid dreaming since I was a teenager. Usually I go the power trip route and try to find where Peter Gabriel is hiding as soon as possible (for spiritual enlightenment, of course!) Anyway, so a couple of nights ago I dream I'm dressed only in a pink sports bra and panties (as you do in dreams) and I'm suppossed to go to gym class. Me and a few others (including John March, they very first guy I ever dated) figure out how to get out of gym class and goof around under trees instead. I then walk through the locker room and into a shopping mall (as they're always connected in Dream Land, as you know). As I'm riding the escalator up, I suddenly realize I'm lucid dreaming. At first, I yell for Peter at the top of my lungs, then I decide "Wait. Here's a great chance to build up my spiritual life by trying to discover what I'm to be learning in this situation." SO, I go back down the escalator where, conviniently, a customer information desk is. I walk up to the woman behind the counter and say, "Hi. I'm the dreamer of this universe. I'm trying to discover what it is I'm supposed to be learning from this dream."

She looks at me as if I'm insane and promptly tends to the person behind me.

"Wait a minute, bitch!" I yell, 'cause I know it's a dream and I can get away with it. "I was in line first! Don't you dare ignore me! Don't you know I can kill you just by waking up? Now, what is it I'm supposed to be learning from this dream?"

Everyone then looks at me and says, "Oh, piss off."

So, that's my big spiritually enlightening dream. Now I know that forever afterwards, my purpose in this universe is to track Peter Gabriel down and jump his bones. This actually answers a lot of questions.

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