Sunday, April 04, 2010

Do Yourself a Favor -- Never Google Old Lovers

I guess because it's Easter it gave me the idea to look into the dead parts of my nefarious past. Quite frankly, I live in fear that my UK ex, who used to beat the crap out of me, will show up at my door. However, that would take effort. After moving from the UK on 13 September 2005 there has been no sign of my abuser. (WHEW!)

Since I returned to America I've had nightmares about meeting the American boyfriend I walked out on in order to shack up with the monstrous Peter Gabriel substitute. (Well, I used all my lovers as PG substitutes. Fat lot of good that did.) The American boyfriend probably wishes I was dead and he has every right to. Tell you the truth, there are many times I wish I was dead. Anyway, I thought I'd face this fear.

Facing your fears is highly overrated.

Anyway, I Googled the American boyfriend's name, hoping I'd find it listed under "Obituaries." Either that or find a photo of how badly he'd aged so I could sigh in relief, "Wow. Dodged that bullet."

No such luck. He's on Facebook. Looking at his picture (and that of his overweight gal pal) was reminiscent of discovering roadkill. Last I heard, he'd moved to his home town, but now has moved back to the town where the two of lived oh so many years ago. At least I know which town to stay far, far away from.

So, let this be a lesson to you. If you ever think of Googling old flames -- don't. You'll wind up with nausea to knock over an elephant.

In order to calm me down, there's a nice photo of PG to pair with this post. This is also for the people who come to this blog just for PG news and not Rena Sherwood news. (Hey -- I've no problem with that.)

Off to cancel my Facebook account.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bravo, magnificent idea