White Buffalo Medicine

I spent Xmas with an intestinal virus. So, basically, I brought in the holidays by bringing up everything I'd eaten since the last holiday. Love to know what Secret Santa gave me that gift, so I can repay him.

No argument--I need good medicine. Soon after my eyes began to focus, I read about a ceremony held on Christmans Eve to bring peace on earth and goodwill to men--the naming ceremony of a rarer-than-Venus'-arms white buffalo calf, born in a Pennslyvannia zoo. The bouncing bundle of joy was named Kenahkihinen, which is Lenape for "watch over us." It was a mutli-cultural prayer offering to the Great Spirit. From what I understand, the calf will not be worshipped, but treated with respect, as a great eacher, for white buffaloes represent a time when man is at a crossroads--they can either die or adapt.

In a related story, the Seminole Nation bought the Hard Rock Cafe chain of resteraunts. Coincidence? I think not.

''Our ancestors sold Manhattan for trinkets,'' Osceola said Dec. 7. ''Today, with the acquisition of the Hard Rock Cafe, we're going to buy Manhattan back one hamburger at a time.''

I'll drink my Nyquil to that. I'm only about 1/16th Native American, but I hope that's enough to spare my lily white ass when the revolution comes...and wouldn't it just be poetic justice if it did? Whitey getting kicked out behind a border fence while the Native peoples (which I assume include Latinos) yuck it up, told it's "manifest destiny"? Yes, I better quit before I laugh myself sick again.