It's Okay to Hate Your Job Sometimes

We've all been there -- we worked all our lives to get a particular job and after years, months or even weeks, you start to hate that long-desired-for job with every fiber of your being.

We just don't all admit that we hate our jobs and this leads to guilt which leads to more job hatred which leads to more guilt which leads to --

Well, you see where it goes.

Don't think this will ever happen to you? Think again. IT WILL. I don't care if your job is to eat too much, sleep to much and spend too much money, there will come a time when the thought of going to work will make you damn near suicidal.

And I was one of you.

I used to think that if only I could make money as a writer, I'd always love my job. And you know the old saying, if you work at what you love then it isn't work.

Poppycock.

Work is WORK, no matter how well it's dressed or how fat it's bank account. If you HAVE to do it, you will eventually loathe it.

For example:

About ten years ago, when I was stuck working at Macy's (which eventually lead to a breakdown -- but that's another story) I read a biography of Dorothy Parker. She was one of the most original and gifted of American writers. However, her not-so-secret-secret was that she HATED writing. And I promised myself that I would NEVER hate writing in the way Dorothy Parker did.

You know what happened next.

Flash-forward ten years later and I'm staring at the ever-dwindling online content writer's market and wishing that I NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN.

For the last few months, I've had to stop writing for money due to my Mom's deteriorating health. Caring for her (and the dogs, and the fish and the laundry and etc.) left me feeling absolutely exhausted. Who can string a sentence together when you can barely keep conscious (unless you're Charles Bukowski, but only HE could pull that off.)

I felt damn near suicidal for hating my  job (well, my PAID job. My MAIN job is taking care of my Mom and the pets.) Hating my job felt sacrilegious somehow. I mean, I longed to be a writer all my life and now I managed it and now I hated what I'd pinned my hopes on for 45 years.

But now I've gotten over it and managed in the last week to find a few paid online writing gigs. And life goes on. Remember that hate is the other side of the coin of love.

Pony's 11th Birthday!

Today is Pony's 11 birthday. We spent a long day doing puppy things. I had hoped to post a recent photo of Pony but I still cannot get the digital camera to work ( I bought it at Christmas.) Oh, well. This photo was taken in late 2005.

Pony's eyebrows are now pure white.

I Can't Figure Out How to Promote Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Hi, there, Readers. I apologize once again for not having blogged in ages, but things have been going rapidly downhill here at the Sherwood household. Despite my rather boastful last post, I have not been able to find any new writing work in over a month. My Mom has gotten still worse and needs constant care (bathing, nail clipping, dressing, feeding, laundry, listening to her kvetch, making sure she doesn't fall and fracture more bones -- all that sort of good stuff.)

I did try to get into the state program for giving funds to unpaid caretakers, but the state dropped the program on January 1, 2015. They kindly did not let let me know until April 16, 2015 (after going through several interviews with no less than three state employees.) So, I'm like a kid again in that my Mom is paying all my expenses (which I am very embarrassed about but cannot seem to change.)

Which brings us to the reason why this post has the title it does -- I have not been able to afford any promotional services for my lonely little eBook Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.  Sadly, it does  not matter how well-written or entertaining a book happens to be in order to make money. It has to be promoted to death in order to make any money.

In between sessions taking care of Mom and the pets, I have been trying to learn how to promote my eBook myself. It's like trying to learn Klingon. I just figure this stuff out.  So I give up. (For now.) I was hoping I could write a sequel but so far that doesn't seem like a realistic option.

Two good things happened to the eBook since I last posted:

1. It got a 4-star review (out of five stars)!
2. It was accepted into the Library Journal's SELF-e program. No, I'm not entirely sure what that means, either. But the word ACCEPTED sounds good, doesn't it? I thought so. And you get to download a nifty logo, too (see illustration, above left.)

Back to banging my head against a wall.

My Blog Post Up on Florida Beach Rehab

Believe it or not, I'm still a freelance writer. No matter how little money I make, I somehow still find myself in front of the keyboard (or even--GASP!--pen and paper) and words somehow keep coming out. I'm proud to announce that not just one but TWO blogs have picked up some of my work. The first is a dog blog which has not gone online yet.

The second is 7 Ways to Relax Without Chemicals which is about

(wait for it)

7 Ways to Relax Without Chemicals.

Anyway, it's up at the blog of the fine folks from Florida Beach Rehab. Their blog has articles for everyone, really, although it is aimed at folks in recovery and folks struggling with addictions. Some interesting blog posts (not written by me, but still good reads, include Adam Barny's 10 Non-Alcoholic Dinner Party Tips (which I wish I'd read years ago) and Amy Parish's Blogging Helped Me to Stay Sober. Here's How. 

For those of you who are new to this blog (hi, there!) I have another blog called ReasonsNotToCommitSuicide. I don't make any money with THAT blog, either. Anyway, one of the reasons I write is because I have endogenous recurring depression. Blogging helps Amy Parish stay sober and blogging helps me not to try and off myself.

I also received some good news about my eBook Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes but I'll save that for another post. (See that? Cliffhanger. We professional writers use those techniques.)

I've been overusing the Peter Gabriel and Jeremy Brett photos in recent months, so I hope you enjoy this one of Mads Mikkelsen goofing around on the set of Hannibal.

For Pete's Sake -- Someone Buy My EBook, Please!

Yes, the misadventures and epic fails keep on happening over here in Rena Sherwood-land. A couple of years ago, I had this wacky idea that I'd self-publish my own book Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes on Amazon Kindle and it would give me fame and fortune (I'd settle for fortune, anyway.)

Didn't happen.

In fact, did just the opposite.

I've lost lots and lots of money on this eBook (through dropping work from clients in order to write this damn thing) through purchasing an ISBN ($125 shot to hell) and who knows how much money in Sherlock Holmes and Jeremy Brett reference books.

That left absolutely zero money for publicity. Big mistake.

I've also lost my Muse's voice for who knows how many months. That left a honkin' huge writer's block. Mom's illnesses have worsened, so I've lost time looking for work or even trying to find a damn when I do find it. If it wasn't for Mom, I'd be back out on the streets.

Now that March is here, I'm starting to hear the Muse's voice again. Goddammit, I can't afford this!

This is all the publicity I can afford -- somebody please buy my eBook!

When is Peter Gabriel's Birthday?

(Note: I wrote this originally for Suite 101, got a fat payment and then Suite 101 went out of business, so I moved it to Yahoo Voices, got a thin payment and then Yahoo Voices out of business. Now I'm going to stick it here on PG's birthday for no money and hope against hope that Blogger won't go out of business.)

British singer-songwriter Peter Gabriel was born at 4:30 PM GMT on February 13, 1950.  This makes him an Aquarius, although his moon was in Sagittarius.  (Insert tasteless joke here.)  He was born in the little-known English town called Cobham, located in the county of Surrey.  In an interesting coincidence, Peter was born exactly day after guitarist Steve Hackett, his band mate in Genesis.

Doesn’t seem too hard to get wrong, does it?  And yet somehow in the 1980s, many books and magazines were erroneously reporting that Peter’s birthday was May 13 and not February 13.  There have been some rumors that the source of this misinformation was Peter himself (purposely telling people the wrong date as a joke), but those rumors have never been substantiated.

Publications Listing Wrong Birth Date

I’ve been a fan of Peter’s since 1986, long before the Internet (or my ability to get a driver’s license, come to think of it.)  I was one of those folks who thought that Peter’s birthday was in May.  Why?  Because that’s what it said in a comic strip illustrating the lives of pop stars that appeared only on Sundays in the late 1980s.   Sadly, my copy of the strip has not survived and I cannot remember the name of the short-lived strip. If you know, please add it to the comments section below.  Thanks in advance.

Anyway, here is a partial list of publications that printed Peter’s birthdate as May 13 (or 13 May, if you prefer):

• ·         USAToday (Really – is anybody surprised that they got it wrong?)
• ·         Chase’s 1997 Calendar of Events, 40^th Anniversary Edition.  McGraw-Hill; 1997.  (They also got it wrong all throughout the 1990s.)
• ·         The Great Rock Discography.  Martin Charles Strong.  Cannongate; 2004.
• ·         The Essential Rock Discography.  Martin Charles Strong.  Cannongate; 2006.  (Yes, those two books are basically the same.)
• ·         The Harmony Illustrated Encyclopedia of Rock and Roll.  Mark Clifford.  Harmony Books; 1986.
• ·         The Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock and Roll.  Rolling Stone Press/Summit Books; 1983.  (This is my guess as to how the wrong birthdate spread.  Anything with Rolling Stone’s name on it sold well to many a reference library.)

Currently

For about nine years, Peter’s birthdate was put up on his official website (PeterGabriel.com) but since the site’s redesign in 2012, his birthdate and extensive biography have somehow disappeared.  Before the redesign, the website featured a Peter Gabriel FAQ page for fans, compiled by the one-time head of Peter’s fan club (who has since retired -- Come to think of it, the fan club seems to have retired, too).  The FAQ page included his correct birthday and that “somewhere down the line” the wrong birthday was reported. 

I Spend Way Too Much Time On Goodreads

A few months ago, I discovered Goodreads (the social network for book lovers (I accidentally spelled that "ook lovers" which I think is something entirely different. Anyway --)). I read in one of those "How to Make Money By Publishing eBooks on Amazon Kindle" publications that joining Goodreads and the Goodreads Author Program could help sell lots of eBooks.

Well,I haven't sold lots of copies of my eBook, Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (last count: 15) but I have spent many a fun hour goofing around on Goodreads. I like writing book reviews. Why -- I have no idea. Probably because I had to do so many as a kid in school that I can't live without doing them.

Best book review I've ever read is this one for Shel Silverstien's The Giving Tree by Sava Hecht:

"Co-dependent tree needs to set some fucking boundaries."

GENIUS!

Anyway, here's my profile at Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3373419.Rena_Sherwood

2014: The Year Hard Work Hardly Worked

I'm so glad 2014 is nearly over. I'm hoping (not by much) that 2015 will be better.

As the post title suggests, I worked very hard in 2014 and got very little in return. This time last year I was happily chugging away on my e-book Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

It came out on Amazon.com in  October.

So far, it has sold 15 copies.

That's it. 15. That comes to less than $20 for my pocket.  Meanwhile, I had to fork out over $150 to get an ISBN, as well as take time from other clients to work on this book. And I had to do it all -- writing, editing, formatting for Amazon Kindle and promotion. The only thing I didn't have to do was the cover. It was donated.

Speaking of clients, I have very few left. Yahoo Voices went bye-byes in July and Helium kicked the virtual bucket in December. Rewarder.com also seems to have gone out of business, although I do not know that 100% for sure.

I worked incredibly hard for these clients and now it means nothing.

Want to be a writer? You're better off slitting your wrists and bleeding to death over a pile of paper. Even garbage men have better jobs.

I'm 45. What the Hell Happened?

It's my birthday again. Didn't I just have one?

So, what have I learned in 45 years?  This: If you want to be sure about getting what you want for your birthday, do what I did -- buy the present yourself.

All else is extra.

(Image was Photoshopped years ago by a Peter Gabriel fan for the now late-lamented website solsburyhill.org.)

Happy Birthday, Jeremy Brett -- wherever you are

Today would have been Jeremy Brett's 81st birthday. He is deeply missed. Brett died in 1995 from cardiomyopathy. He also suffered from bipolar disorder (manic depression.)

Such a huge personality like Brett makes a big mark. We don't know what happens when we die. I'm an atheist, but think that dead people live on in other people's memories. Wherever he is, I hope he is at peace -- and has a good pack of smokes with him.

Brett plays a co-starring role in Part V of my eBook, Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. I tried to treat Brett honestly but with affection and humor. Perhaps it will help to give more memories to readers and help keep JB alive for many years to come.

"Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" Now Available on Amazon Kindle

On October 15 (or 15 October, depending  on where you live), my first eBook Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes finally went officially on sale at Amazon. It is only available in Kindle so far.  If you don't have a Kindle, Amazon will usually give you a Kindle app for your PC, laptop or whatever free with your first eBook purchase.

I meant to blog about this on October 15 but I've been very busy.  I celebrated the day of the release -- by having to take Mom's urine sample to her primary care doctor's office.  Whee (or, more appropriately, wee.)  I've been spending more and more of my time taking care of Mom as she has been going downhill.

Since I took a few months off to write and rewrite and re-rewrite this eBook, I now have drained my bank account and have to start writing for quicker money than eBooks again. This is going to take up what little free time I have and so I'm disappointed to write that I will not be able to start the sequel to Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes until I can get some money in the bank.

I was going to try and make physical copies of the eBook, but cannot afford another ISBN number or figure out how to navigate Create Space (another Amazon company.)  Since there hasn't exactly been a huge rush in sales, I think I better hold off on making physical book copies until there is a sufficient demand for them.

A big thank you for those who have purchased Not the New Adventure of Sherlock Holmes.  I hope that you enjoy the ride.

Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Available for Pre-Sale on Amazon.com

I should've blogged about this sooner but I've been exhausted since getting this puppy accepted by Amazon Direct Publishing.  It will become available on 15 October 2014.  It already made 4 sales.  Yikes!  I hope Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes lives up to everyone's expectations.

So far, this is coming out only for Kindle.  If there is enough interest, I may invest in getting it available in a physical format in Create Space.  Right now I do not have the money for it.  If you do not have Kindle, you should be able to get a free Kindle app for your laptop or whatever from Amazon.com.

I've been asked if Peter Gabriel appears in the eBook.  Yes, he does.  He makes a very brief cameo in Part IV.  Since PG has a huge sense of humor, I highly doubt anyone will take any offense at his appearance.  If PG didn't mind being mentioned a few times on Father Ted, I doubt he's going to care about popping up in a Sherlock Holmes eBook.

The lovely cover drawing was donated (!) by the even lovelier Stephane Mailliard Perreti.

Roll on October.

Remembering Jeremy Brett Died 12 Sept, 1995

I'm Nearly Finished the Final Draft

Yipperdoodle, that's right -- I'm nearly finished the final draft of Not the New Adventure of Sherlock Holmes.  Basically, all I have left to do are fix formatting issues, make sure copyright page is up to snuff and add an illustration that has been generously donated by one of my Facebook followers.

It's been quite a ride...and it's not over yet. Did you know that ISBN numbers you see on the copyright page of your favorite and not so favorite books aren't free?  They cost about $125 each.  And yes, I took the plunge and bought one.

Also, did you know that you have to remove page numbers from manuscripts before submitting them in an eBook format?  I found that out the hard way.

There is also no guarantee that Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing will accept my manuscript (and if they don't, I am royally screwed.)  Yes, according to the folks over at Amazon KDP, eBook manuscripts are scrutinized before they are allowed to go on sale at Amazon.  I have no idea how thoroughly they check (considering some of the crap sold at Amazon) but this is what their FAQ page says, anyway.

Off to collapse. Muse rode me hard and put me away wet.

So How's the Book Going, Part 11 or whatever it is now

I must have been insane to think I could get this Sherlock Holmes eBook out by the end of September.  I had no idea that the easiest part of making an eBook is writing the eBook. Now I'm editing for a final draft (and fighting illness), but also need to:

• Change formats to PDF files before submitting to Amazon
• Make sure no strange symbols or line spacing appears as a result of changing to PDF files
• Figure out how to make an eBook cover
• Get an ISBN number
• Find the time and energy to do all of this

Maybe I should just go back to bed.  Sounds like a plan.

Finished the First Draft of Sherlock Holmes E-book

I meant to blog about this on the day I finished the first draft (Saturday) but I was too darn tired.  Quite frankly, I'm still too darn tired, so this will be a short post.  Some stats:

• Book has five parts
• That's 33 chapters
• So far, it's about 96,000 words but I still have tons of editing and rewriting to do before the Muse will be satisfied with a final draft
• This will definitely be an e-book and not a conventional book
• I've worked on this since December for hundreds of hours
• If I sell 100 copies/downloads it'll be a freaking miracle
• My Mom is nagging me to read it

The working title still remains Not the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and that will probably be the final title.  Just my luck someone else will take the title right when I hit that publish button for Amazon's e-book program rigmarole.

I'm currently scouring public domain photographs for a suitable e-book cover.  I'd rally rather not pay someone to make the cover (which can go into three figures) if I don't have to.

Off to collapse now.

So, How's the Book Going? Part 10

My Muse (Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes) is my jockey and I'm the racehorse about to break down right at the finish line.  However, I'm still amazed to report that we are both in the homestretch of getting the first draft completed.  (Okay, technically it's not a first draft. I must have written Part I nearly 30 times. The book will have five parts and I'm over halfway completed Part V, so I'm still calling it a first draft.  Don't argue with me.  I'm writing.)

Getting the first draft done means (of course) that the book is not ready for prime time just yet.  After the first draft is finished, I will then still need to:

• Edit
• Reformat the Microsoft Word document to whatever format Amazon handles
• Edit it some more
• Somehow figure out a cover image for the damn thing (!)
• Edit is some more
• Go through a final internal argument where I decide whether to go for "mere" ebook publishing or try to send the damn thing to a traditional publisher (and have it ignored for ten years)
• Market it when it's published in whatever format it comes out as.

It's actually getting scary now.  So far, no one has seen this manuscript except my Muse.  Letting someone else read it means that someone could really hate it.  Or, worse yet, I could place the book up on Amazon.com and sell not one friggin' copy.  As Holmes is saying in this scene from The Second Stain, "Every man's hand is against us."

Well, now I know what I'll have nightmares about tonight.

So How's the Book Going, Part 9

The Sherlock Holmes book was chugging along pretty well until July 2, when my main client Yahoo Contributor Network suddenly announced that it will go out of business on July 31. It will start deleting all 1643 of my articles on July 30.

I also have about 1100 articles on Helium that will go dark in December when they officially go out of business. At least Helium gave their writers a six month warning.

YCN is now the third client of mine to go out of business this year. My industry (web content writing) seems to be completely screwed. I had hoped writing would be my final career -- what a dumb hope, huh?

The nice thing about the late YCN is that I could write about topics I had an interest in.  Now it's back to writing about such scintillating topics as vaginal cosmetic surgery and how to choose a DUI lawyer.

The big problem is that the residual payments that I received help pay my ridiculously expensive health insurance premiums (I live in America, remember) and still take time out to work on the book.  Remember, time I work on the book is time that I'm not getting paid.  Odds are, I'll never make a single cent with this book, so I'm not sure if I can ever find the time to finish this damn thing, let alone try to edit it and flog it.

And yet my Muse is nagging me to finish this.  Of course, he gets very quiet when I'm upset.  He doesn't seem to understand the importance of getting my bills paid.  He gets jealous so easily when I have other things on my mind except him.  If he really wanted to be helpful, he'd get me publisher.

So, How's the Book Going? Part 8

The first draft of the book is still chugging along.  My Muse is getting more loquacious, but I really want to stop this book before or at 100,000 words.  More than that and I think I'll tax even the most tolerant of a reader's patience.

One bit of Sherlock Holmes legal news to report: All of the Sherlock Holmes stories EXCEPT for The Case-book of Sherlock Holmes (the last one) have been declared part of the public domain.  That's pretty good because the license fee from the Doyle estate starts at a minimum of $5000.  Now, I can see the Doyle estate getting steamed over non-canonical Sherlock Holmes books that suck.  Hell, even I wanted to sue the authors after I read these books. And that crap got published!

I'm debating whether to just go ahead and do an e-book or try to submit to a traditional publisher.  The big problem is that my parents are in their 70s and I'm not too sure how long they have left.  It'd be nice for them to read this thing before they die.

And yes, I know that 99.9% of all traditional publishers do not accept unsolicited manuscripts. However, these do:

• NCM Publishing
• Whatever this place is called

So far I think my best bet is the e-book format.  I have to wrap up this blog post, as my Muse is muttering again.  Until then, here's a little video I put together during a brief spell of writer's block:

So How's the Book Going? Part 7

The book seems to be rolling along but I could use a vacation.  It's now at about 70,000 words long. I've done some reformatting so hopefully that will translate well with Amazon Kindle's ebook download program.  It's a bit daunting to face the end of this draft.  After that is editing and then we're off to the races.  I get to face mind-boggling choices like what to use for a cover and do I really need to add an acknowledgements page?

But what's been really tiring has been working with my Muse (pictured, left (actually, it's a picture of Jeremy Brett, but anyway...)).  He's turned into a real slave-driver.  He is still only revealing the story bit by bit instead of a whole grand overview.  He does not always reveal the story while I'm at the keyboard.  Sometimes he talks when I walk the dogs, do the washing up or when I'm trying to sleep.  He especially likes the last option.

Successful writers like Stephen King advise writers to lay down the first draft as quickly as possible.  My Muse is not so keen on that idea.  He always wants me to go back and fix errors so sometimes I wind up writing a sentence three or four times before he grudgingly allows me to go on.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not "hearing voices."  Yet his is quite insistent.  I can see where the idea of demon possession came from.

And now he says that I've taken up too much time here and have to get back at it.  See you when I see you.