Happy B-day Peter Gabriel

It's snuck up on you again, I know. It's Peter Gabriel's Birthday today! (Not May 13, as reported in some publications. Personally, I think PG told different people different dates for his birthday so he could get more prezzies that way). So just what do I get the man who has everything? The only thing he probably wasn't expecting :

A rant.

Happy Birthday, Beloved Gabrielmeister!

For someone severely devoted to human rights, you sure like to toture your fans, Peter. (I can't understand this devotion to human rights. I do understand devotion to human lefts). You are such a TEASE. You only put an album out once a decade now. That doesn't bother me so much is that you keep saying, "Oh, something will be out any time now--" KNOCK THAT OFF. Just say, "Damn. I don't know what I'm doing." and be DONE with it. Don't leave us twitching on your hook. You're the only supplier of what we're addicted to and I know you know it.

I do know you have been dropped by your American label and are looking to start your own record distributiuon company. You're holding out for the highest bidder, aren't you? I don't blame you for that (in fact, I wish I thought of it first) but just TELL us that's the plan, will ya?

I've got a feeling in the future PG fans, in order to hear/see new material, will have to go into these dark back alleys and use code words to get into smoke-filled rooms of other PG fans in trenchcoats willing to sell a kidney for new PG stuff.

Right. Seriously, now, I love Peter, no matter how much or how little he puts out (literally and metaphorically). He's been the best lover I've ever had. The fact that Peter is completely unaware of this is a mild snag. Well, all relationships have their problems. At least Peter doesn't hog the covers, eat the last biscuit and call me during the best parts of Star Trek.

Off to party.