Might Have to Cancel Trip to See Peter Gabriel Concert

Yes, you read that right.  Even after shelling out $500 or so for VIP tickets to see a Peter Gabriel concert in Germany, I may have to swallow the loss and skip the trip.  (The tickets are non-refundable.)

My Mom received a bad diagnosis.  Really bad.  How bad?  I'm not sure what the actual medical terms are, but after the doctor said, "Her spine is disintegrating," I couldn't think of much to say.

There's not much that can be done, except long and excruciating spinal surgeries.  Paralysis is highly possible in her near future.  She already is house-bound, cannot use the bathtub, cannot put on her own socks, cannot drive any more and can walk only a few minutes a day -- with a walker or cane.  She cannot walk without assistance.

Mom says I should still go on the trip in October.  Two neighbors said they'd check in on her while I'm gone but I'm not sure if I should go.  Facing a beloved family member's medical crisis (and her eventual mortality) puts things sharply into perspective.

Peter Gabriel is Not My Hero

Earlier today, there was an interesting discussion about heroes on Facebook.  I came to the realization that I have no heroes because heroes do not exist.  More than that, adults shouldn't need heroes to begin with.  They should be smart enough to realize that heroes make for great movie plots but do not actually exist in real life.

Heroes will always let you down.  Always.  That's because a hero is an ideal and not concrete reality.  Other examples of ideals that screw us up include:

• God
• Santa Claus
• manifest destiny
• Truth, Justice and the American Way
• the Roman Republic  (yes, I know the Republic ended with Augustus Caesar, but it seems to survive in some current governments such as the one in America.  The ideal lives on.)

Now, don't get me wrong.  I still admire Peter.  I'd take a bullet, blade or blunt object for him.  I am in awe of his creativity.  I also would love to shag him until one or both of us is in a chocolate-flavored coma but he's not my hero.  He's just a guy I really, really, really hope outlives me.

Am I mad at Peter for not living up to my hopes and expectations?  Nope.  I was the one dumb enough to pick heroes in the first place.

Things that Peter does that do not live up to my hero qualifications includes:

1. Getting married not just once but twice.  What -- he didn't learn his lesson the first time around that marriage sucks?
2. Betting on horse racing.  Horse racing is nothing but animal cruelty sanctioned by the filthy rich.  How does Peter not get that?  How does anyone not get that, for that matter?
3. Being, at times, kind of an idiot. 

Man, I hope Peter comes back from his around-the-world vacation soon so I can start writing some real posts instead of doing random navel-gazing.