Monday, May 15, 2006
Stunt Requests For David Blaine
David Blaine is one of the very few people who impress me, like the Dalai Lama, Gandhi or Peter Gabriel. Anybody who can pull a tooth out of someone's head and then spit it back in I sit up and take notice (and keep my mouth shut around). When I was living as a hermit in Bathwick, England I still heard all about his 44 day fast suspended in a Perspex box above London. (I could hear Gandhi say "Ahh, amateurs!") In case you happen to be a hermit off of the planet Earth, you probably heard about his latest stunt, Drowned Alive (which almost happened). Poor boy is probably convalescing, wondering what on earth he can do to top that.
Well, David, never fear! Here are some suggestions for guaranteed payoffs:
* Shoot my ex out of a cannon into the Grand Canyon. When he splatters, say "Ooops--that's show biz!"
* Find out exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop.
*Find me a job...well, that would take a miracle, I guess
*Pull the teeth out the George Bush's head, make 'em disappear and then make them reappear in Dave's poo.
*Get my dog and my Mom's cat to stay in the same room without setting off the next world war.
*Get Hasidic Jews, Fundamental Christians and Osama Bin Laden-wanna bees together for a toga party. Hell, invite my dog and Mom's cat, too.
*Get a new roll of toilet paper going without shredding the stuff into tiny strips of useless fluff. Now that's magic!
(I also placed this article up on Bubblews)