Me, Peter Gabriel, Sherlock Holmes and Leipzig

I think my writing career has hit rock-bottom, because that was the best title I could think up.  I've just hit the point in my career where even my subconscious doesn't give a shit anymore.  I've spent most of this year writing 350 versions of these titles:

• How to Choose a Lawyer
• How to Choose a Roofing Contractor
• Do I Have Bed Bugs? (which, come to think of it, is practically the same as How to Choose a Lawyer)

Last week I had to write an article that began with this phrase "When you own a septic tank ..."  When I was a kid looking out of the window and daydreaming about my future, I guarantee you that I never thought, "I'm gonna grow up to write about septic tanks!"

I took these assignments because, quite frankly, I needed the money.  I have two dogs, two aquariums and a mountain of medical bills to support.  On Wednesday night, I'm off for what will most likely be my last trip out of the country ever -- a few days in Leipzig, Germany.  I'm going there to see a Peter Gabriel concert.  If I'm not crippled by migraines, I hope to explore Leipzig, too.

If this is your first visit to this blog, let me explain some things about me and Peter Gabriel:

• I fell in love with him on June 15, 1986
• I have met him a few times.  He wasn't impressed.
• My biggest mental breakdown involved him (although he had absolutely no idea what was going on) and I wound up running away from home when I was 29 to live in the woods for about five years.
• I tried having boyfriends.  The last one tried to kill me so no more boyfriends ever except for imaginary boyfriends.  There's a guy I've dreamt about since 1986 named Peter.
• I've devoted a good chunk of my life and finances to being a PG fan
• I'm now getting really tired of it.

Now, it could be that this concert will be incredible and I won't have a migraine and all that happy crappy, but chances are I'll come home exhausted, cranky and not looking forward to the rest of my life.

So where does Sherlock Holmes fit in?  One night when my insomnia was at it's worst, I rediscovered Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes on YouTube.  I had seen the first series of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes waaaay back in 1984 or 1985.  I checked out one of Arthur Conan Doyle's books from my high school library, but it was way over my head.  (Now that I've had to study Shakespeare, Conan Doyle is a walk in the park.)

Man, it felt like coming home.  I've had LSD slipped to me (one of my ex-boyfriends did it as a joke) but I have never had as good a trip as re-watching Jeremy Brett's 10 year stint as the Great Detective.  Sadly, Jeremy Brett (who's real name was Peter Jeremy William Huggins) died in 1995 at the age of 59. 

The Peter I dream about (remember I mentioned him?) usually fought with me in my dreams.  He insisted on being taller than the real PG and had a different speaking voice than PG's.  After I watched a clip of Jeremy Brett as Holmes did I realize that it was THAT voice I had been dreaming about all of these years.  So now Peter and I rarely fight or argue in my dreams anymore. 

So, Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes is my imaginary friend.  Some people have God as an imaginary friend -- I have Sherlock Holmes (or Mr. Holmes as he prefers to be called.)  He's stuck in my head and remarks on just about anything I do, see or hear.  He's not looking forward to this trip to Leipzig and he's not too thrilled about going to the concert.  He'd much rather I spent the time reading and listening to Paganini or Beethoven. 

Gonna be an interesting trip.  The one in my head, if not the one I actually encounter in Germany.

Peter Gabriel's Back to Front 2013 Tour Kicks Off in Denmark

Well, it's really happening. Those of you who bought tickets to Peter Gabriel's Back to Front 2013 tour last May need to find them and figure out your travel arrangements.  The tour kicked off last night in Denmark.  I've tried to find a review of the show but so far have been unable to.  On PG's Facebook Page, there are some posts from excited fans basking in the afterglow of the gig, so presumably all went well.

Since it was the first night of the tour, there had to be some inevitable glitches.  There had been at least one YouTube video made by audience members of the show, but apparently they've been pulled off of YouTube for whatever reason.  Apparently PG is using something called MagicCubes during the shows (?), but I have absolutely no idea what they are except that:

• it must be complicated
• it runs on Apple equipment
• PG probably has no idea how to use it

From the one photo I've seen of the gig (and one of the setlist), it does not like there is any major difference from the Back to Front North American tour of 2012.  There is one slight difference -- a new song was unveiled called "Show Yourself."  I'm hoping that will change once the/my show for Leipzig rolls around. 

Petergabriel.com has gone through a major overhaul, so that now it looks like Tumblr.  In other words -- it's even harder to find info out than ever before.  It's very hard on my old eyes, so I won't bother with it anymore, except in making links for the occasional future blog post.

As to what the future of this particular blog goes, (and my own future), I can't promise that it will be predominately about PG anymore.  Because of my Mom's heath problems, my health problems, and the "fuck you" nature of the American health care system, this looks like it will be my very last PG concert ever (unless PG somehow manages to come back to Philly before I kick the bucket.)  It will be a bit painful for me to write about something I can't participate in or have any enjoyment of.

I'm trying to psyche myself up for the Leipzig gig, but so far it's not working.  I did manage to unearth my passport, so I guess that's something.  I feel like a big chapter in my life is coming to a close and I'm not all that happy at seeing it go away. 

My Mom is also FREAKING OUT (yes - she's doing it in capital letters) because I will be gone and she has mobility issues.  I don't know how many times I've told her that I would cancel my trip, but she insists on my going -- and in the next breath she wonders aloud what will happen to her when she's alone (which she isn't -- she has neighbors checking in on her and a paid companion to visit while I'm gone.)

So, basically, it's like this:

• I go to Leipzig and try not to get kicked out of the soundcheck or gig
• I come back and watch everyone I care about die
• Eventually, I die.

Man, I hope pot becomes legal in Pennsylvania soon because the rest of my life is looking like it needs major drugs.

My Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes Demotivational Posters, Part 3

Once again, while I should be working in order to save up money for my trip to Leipzig, I've devoted creative energies into making another set of demotivational posters starring Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes.  You can see all of my demotivational posters here on Pinterest.  Enjoy.

 

 

 

My Peter Gabriel Demotivational Posters, Part III

In response to absolutely no requests, I made a few more Peter Gabriel demotivational posters yesterday when I had writer's block.  As you can see, I did not use my time frivolously.  A collection of all of my demotivational posters can be found on this Pinboard.  Unfortunately, some of the photos became a little distorted.  Anyway, they're good enough that you can get the jist.  Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Family Sucks

"There's nothing more important than family."  That's some nonsensical bit of advice my father gave me when I was a kid.  Chances are you were spoon-fed this malarkey, too.  You always read in the press about some actress giving up her career for family or some politician running for office because some immediate ancestor held that office.

Let's make one thing clear:  Family SUCKS.

Case in point -- MINE.  I have Sherwoods on one side and Watts on the other.  Every now and then my Mom drops a bombshell about my family like she did the other day:

"Your Uncle Ronald died."

Uncle Ronald?  Who the almighty fuck was Uncle Ronald?  I never got a Christmas card from him or ran into him at a wedding.  Now, I'm 43 years old.  I've been accused of being absent-minded, but I think after 43 years someone would have at least once sat me down and said, "Hey -- you have an Uncle Ronald."

So, naturally, I spluttered, "I had an Uncle Ronald?"

"Yes, you did.  He was your father's eldest brother.  We didn't have much contact with him."

"Apparently not."  This was the first I'd heard of him in 43 years.

"He --- was a little strange.  He kept to himself.  He married a woman exactly the same way."

"Oh -- great."  I say, wondering what familial obligation I'll be stuck with now, considering Mom is a cripple and can't go to funerals or fun family events like that.

"At least he didn't have a criminal record like your Uncle Yi," pointed out Mom, "Well --not that anyone ever found out, anyway."

OK, I HAD heard of Uncle Yi, who died while I was a little girl.  The only things I remembered about him were that he had a white, fluffy dog named Dummy and that he lived most of his life in California.  But I'd never heard of any criminal activity.

"Wait -- Uncle Yi had a criminal record?"

"Oh, yes.  Didn't you ever wonder why he lived in California while the rest of his family were on the East Coast?'

"I can honestly say that I never did."

"Well, he was a kiddie fiddler.  One day he was caught with a teenage boy. The judge told him that he could either go to jail or get out of the state and never come back.  Yi chose the latter."

Quite frankly, I would rather have been told that I had AIDS or cancer rather than discover these things about people I share genes with.  Other people are related to royalty -- I get stuck with mentally ill hermits and pedophiles.

And that, Gentle Reader, is why family sucks. 

Remembering Jeremy Brett

On this day in 1995, Peter Jeremy William Huggins, better known as the veteran actor Jeremy Brett, was found dead in his home in Clapham Common.  He'd died of heart failure brought on by cardiomyopathy.  In other words, his heart was too large for his body.  He had a great life despite suffering from cardiomyopathy and bipolar disorder.  He is greatly missed.

 

Peter Gabriel's Zagreb Concert Cancelled

Hopefully, this will be old news to anyone who bought tickets for Peter Gabriel's concert in Zagreb.  The concert has been cancelled because the concert promoter went out of business. (Yikes!)  There will be a Peter Gabriel concert that night (5 October), but it will be in Belgrade and not Zagreb.  Concert promoters LiveNation told petergabriel.com that they will honor all tickets for the Belgrade show. Find out more information here.

There is also supposed to be some sort of gift given to Zagreb ticket holders who exchange their tickets for the Belgrade show.  I have no idea what the gift could be.  Chances are, neither does Real World or LiveNation.  You'll find out when you get there.

It is important that all tickets for the Belgrade show are exchanged for tickets to the Zagreb show.  You can start doing this tomorrow, 9 September.  I could not find much information on whether refunds will be offered for those who do not want to go to Belgrade.  I assume refunds are being offered, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it.

Good luck!

More Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes Demotivational Posters

I should be working but can't manage it this Labor Day weekend.  So I did more of these silly posters instead. You can see all of my demotivational posters at Pinterest.  Enjoy.

 

Picking My Outfit for Peter Gabriel Concet in Leipzg

Man, this year is just flying by. October is just around the corner.  What's so special about October? I'll be going to Leipzig, Germany to see a Peter Gabriel concert.  I've gone to Leipzig before but wound up getting sick and spent most of the trip stuck in bed.  I'm hoping to actually see some of the city this time around.

But anyway, it's time for me to choose an outfit to wear for the soundcheck and concert. The big problem is that concerts tend to generate a lot of heat -- even if you aren't moving.  The October weather in Leipzig can be incredibly cold -- even more so if it's accompanied by rain.  I think I'll suffer the heat of the concert in order to feel comfortable the rest of my time there.

Which gets me to an important part of attending a PG soundcheck and concert -- what to wear.

Ideally, I'd like to show up looking like Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes, but my face differs drastically from Brett's.  I also have big ugly breasts that Brett never had, even at his heaviest.  Mine is much rounder and less flexible.  I also need to wear glasses in order to avoid walking into walls.  So, I'm just going to reproduce the outfit here as much as possible.  I'll also keep my hair short and slicked back.

I already have a long pale coat, white shirt and black trousers.  Other than those, I'm going to have big problems.  I think the watch on a chain is definitely out and I'll be damned if I'll figure out how to tie a tie before October.  The black waistcoat defiantly has possibilities.  I may wear a corset to tone down the profile of my hideous breasts.

So, as you can see, my free time is not spent in frivolity.

My Jeremy Brett and Peter Gabriel Music Videos

My apologies for the self-indulgent nature of this particular blog post, but I need a convenient place to stick up all of my Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes set to Peter Gabriel songs music videos. (One day I'll come up with a catchy but shorter description. One day.) I do have a YouTube channel but YouTube is crankier than Blogger. With these videos, I selected scenes from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes based on the following criteria:

• Does the clip follow the music in some way (illustrates lyrics or moves to the beat)?
• Does the clip somehow look as if it could be in a real Peter Gabriel video?
• Do I like the clip?
• Damn it, doesn't Jeremy Brett look good?

I've only done seven (eight?) of these little music videos and may not be able to do any more. That's not my choice. It's damn Windows Movie Maker. I tried making a video to PG's "Intruder" and crashed the computer. 

Anyway, here are the videos in chronological order from oldest to newest.  The songs done are Waterloo Sunset, Heroes, Whole Thing and My Body is a Cage.  Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

And here's the fifth, Burn You Up, Burn You Down.  I think I might finally be getting the hang of this.

 

 

And numbers 6 and 7, set to The Book of Love (where we actually get to see the title of the book of love) and Gethsemane respectively.

 

 

 

And here's number 8, set to Peter Gabriel's version of Leonard Cohen's Suzanne.

 

My Newest YouTube Video: Sherlock Holmes -- Waterloo Sunset

Although it probably doesn't look like it, this took ages to make.  I chose most of the clips based on the song lyrics.  All clips are from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. The song is the old Kinks chestnut, Waterloo Sunset, performed here by Peter Gabriel. 

My Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes Videos

I'm a freelance writer.  For the past three weeks or so, I've been suffering from writer's block.  I won't bore you with the reasons why.  In order to keep my creative muscles in shape, I decided to learn how to make videos for YouTube.  This took a staggering amount of time and at least five software downloads.  Whenever you hear or read that it's easy to make your own movies or music videos for YouTube, don't believe it.  It takes BLOODY ages and a lot of screaming at the computer screen.

My Mom likes them, but I'm not satisfied with the results.  Anyway, here they are.  They were done on Windows Movie Maker.  Episodes of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes were downloaded using at least one program called iLivid.  The first one is from one of my favorite scenes in the entire series.  It's whopping 45 seconds long from "The Second Stain."

 

 

And something a little more detailed, "Give Jeremy Brett Your Undivided Attention."  I arranged the clips into a very rough narrative, to make a four minute Sherlock Holmes "episode."

 



I do have other videos planned.  My ultimate goal (besides to get rid of this damn writer's block and start making some money again) is to make videos using images from the Sherlock Holmes episodes set to Peter Gabriel songs or songs covered by Peter Gabriel.

Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes Demotivational Posters

Well, my mental breakdown is continuing to go well.  Instead of being able to write the same piece of advertising copy 100 different ways, I'm creating demotivational posters featuring Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes.  You're welcome.  And here are my Peter Gabriel demotivational posters.

 

 

Peter Gabriel Scared, Pissed Off and Rich

Yes, I still post about Peter Gabriel.  He's been doing some promotion lately, including a semi-big interview with Mojo.  He revealed that he was pissed off with Joe Strummer who he worked with for Big Blue Ball.  So why was PG POed?  Gabriel pointed out that Strummer hid his upper-class background in order to appear more like the average person.  Gabriel himself, a graduate of the prestigious Charterhouse School, still gets branded as a "snotty rich kid."

Well, Peter did come from an upper middle-class background, which (to my considerable knowledge) he has never tried to hide.  He did go through pretty tight times when in Genesis (which only began making a profit after Gabriel left.)  PG is currently rich.  How rich?  He has his own studio and his own hotel in Sardinia.  I'm sure he can wipe his tears away with his money.

However, no matter your background or financial status, you can still make good art, like music.  The art itself should be judged for what it is and not the background of the artist.

PG also revealed that he occasionally develops a phobia of flying after nearly crashing in a Pan Am decades ago (although he didn't give a specific date.)  He says he still flies, though.  But you have to wonder if this is one reason why Peter takes such a long time between albums after 1986.

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I'm Sick of Being a Woman

I'm 43.  That's a long time to be a woman.  I could use a change.  And not the change that my body is currently going through and will probably go through for the next 30 years or until I drop dead, whichever comes first. 

Menopause is absolutely hammering me.  I'm exhausted, I have more headaches than ever, I barely sleep, I have hot flashes (and there's nothing like having a hot flash during a heat wave to make you wish you were a man) my appetite has vanished but my libido has made a scary reappearance after a long absence.

It's like my body is a terrorist to my mind.  I never know when the next explosion is going to happen. 

So I want to be man.  A gay man.  Not that I can afford sex change surgery and I don't want to sleep with women, but perhaps I can pretend to be a 50-year-old man. Specifically, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes. (Yes, I know Brett was bisexual and not gay, but I really don't advise you arguing with me at this point.) Brett's Holmes is "the dark side of the moon" (as Brett himself described Holmes) but at least he doesn't have to worry about hot flashes.

I've already chopped my long unruly hair off and slick it back with hair gel like in the photo of Brett's Holmes here.  I've started sipping wine since Holmes drinks occasionally.  I'm gradually losing weight to appear more angular, as I did when I was in my 30s.  Hey, it's a start.  Next I need to work on the voice.  Hell -- I might even take up pipe smoking (although it won't be tobacco I'd be smoking.)

I mean, just LOOK at him and LISTEN to him in the video clip below.  Old age would be a lot more exciting if one day you woke up and transformed into this:

Top 10 Reasons Why I Want to Grow Up to be Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes

At the age of 43, I have finally decided what I want to be when I grow up.  At first I wanted to be Doctor Who and then Doctor Who's crankier sister, but that never worked out (especially when they started casting Doctors half my freaking age.  That and my acting career tanked before it ever got started).  Then I wanted to be Peter Gabriel, but he does such a good job at it that the world would be best off if he kept at it.

Now -- I finally FINALLY know what I want to be:  Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes.  I don't want to be Jeremy Brett (who sadly died at the age of 59 in 1995) and I'm not smart enough to be Sherlock Holmes so I won't even try.  But being Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes -- well that's another creature entirely.  Here are my top 10 reasons why:

Ten: Cool Outfits

I mean, come on, just look at them!  Although the suits Mads Mikkelsen wears in Hannibal are pretty drool-worthy, men's fashion peaked in the Victorian age. Watches on gold chains! Walking sticks! Tucked in shirts!

 I also can never get my hair right.  Ever.  If I was Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes, all I'd need to do is slick back my hair with gel and stick on a top hat. 

Nine: I'd Get to Watch My Best Friend Sleep as Much as I'd Like

Case in point, this scene from "The Speckled Band" (first aired 1984.)

Eight: I'd Stop Swearing So Much

I admit that one of my many character flaws is a propensity to swear.  I even swear in my dreams.  Brett's Holmes has a great way of putting people in their place without swearing.  For example, when he wants someone to leave, he dryly remarks, "Please vanish."  He even does this to Watson and is able to get away with it.  When he's absolutely furious, he snorts like a pig.

Seven: I Could Roll My R's Without Anyone Staring at Me

And really, isn't this what we all want out of life?

Six: I'd Get to Ride or Drive Some Pretty Horses

And really, isn't this what we all want out of life?  Well, that and rolling your R's.

Five: I'd Have My Own Pet Watson

Dr. Watson fills many personal holes in Holmes' life.  He's a companion, a physician, a confidant, a dynamite publicity agent, fellow smoker and someone to bully around without actually being harmful.

Although there has been many speculations that Watson was also Holmes' secret lover, I don't subscribe to the theory because Holmes shied away from sex or personal affection.  In Doyle's stories and in Brett's interpretation, Holmes never fell in love with anyone other than himself.

Four: Those Cool Pipes

I'm not a smoker.  I don't advocate smoking.  Brett reportedly smoked about 60 cigarettes a day (which contributed to his tragically early death.)  But DAMN, look at those pipes!  They give your hands something to do when you really want to smack someone across the mouth.  During filming the series, one of Brett's pipes was stolen from the hotel he stayed at.

Three: That Voice

A lot of misery in my life could be erased if, one day, I suddenly woke up with Jeremy Brett's voice.  Imagine going to the post office and asking for a book of stamps using this voice.

Two: That Gaze

You could even stare a cat down with that gaze.

And the number one reason why I want to be Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes:

One: Getting Watson to Smile at My Evil Laugh

You can't put a price on that.